The Importance Of Family Structure & Its Roles
The main roles in a family known or assumed are the ones of the father, mother, daughter, son, uncle, aunt, grandfather and grandmother. They are often assigned to identify the general family structure, but also the gender of the people in the family. Therefore, these so called “titles” highlight the responsibilities and rights, privileges and duties, authority or power. What exactly they mean and what associated issues may occur, you`re about to find out now.
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About Roles in a Family
In any group of people, inevitably appears a designation of a role, sometimes being obvious. For instance, in a sports team the coach is the one who decides what position each player occupies; in a play there are similarly attributed roles to each actor, the structures of this nature exist in order to work together in the attempt of achieving a common purpose. In a family, the very same thing happens – parents obviously being the ones who take control over the roles each person has.
Each person generally plays a certain role in the family, which may be rather different from the one from work or between friends. Sometimes a person goes beyond the role in the family, but the family expects for him/her to still meet his/her requirements. For instance, someone who has always been looked as the “little one” in the family may confront himself with some difficulties in the attempt to gain his independence or respect from the other members of the family.
What it should be kept in mind is that these roles are imposed to children even from an early age and, although they appear at a subconscious level, most of the times they involve an increased degree of inflexibility. Children may also assume roles, not only parents, and usually they cooperate in the attempt to achieve them. The more disorganized and chaotic a family is, the more increased this inflexibility of the roles is, just as it happens during periods of crisis and the members try to negotiate the terms of the crisis. The message that the children perceive when it comes to these roles is that they are necessary for the family to function properly.
However, there`s also a positive side: knowing and understanding the duties may be beneficial because the role during childhood is often perpetuated during adulthood. The way in which everyone decides how and if he wants to take part in these assumed roles remains a personal choice. It affects the way of everyone thinks: the hero, scapegoat, lost child and mascot.
How Does a Family Work?
A family isn`t a democracy! Each family has a general structure, but also its own way of deciding who has the power and authority within its unit and what rights, privileges, duties and roles are assigned to each member of the family. As already mentioned, the parents are the ones who “rule” in the family, and the children need to follow the instructions. Obviously, along with growth, the little ones are now teenagers and will ask for an increased degree of autonomy, and their opinions have to be taken into consideration when there are decisions taken, but the parents remain final.
Read more on Causes & Effects Of Verbal Violence On Children!
Of course, there`ll always be things to disagree between generations, and parents need to allow children to have their own opinion, but the final decision need to be taken by the parents. However, they should explain their decision, without needing to become defensive or excused, although not always things will be pleasant.
The type of hierarchy plays an essential role regarding the way a family function and, therefore in the patriarchal societies the man has more power than the woman, including in the family, the father being seen as a provider and an authoritarian figure (who has the last saying), and the mother being the one who takes care of everything, responsible with the emotional part of the family (maintains the harmony in the family). Thus, mothers most of the primary responsibilities, and fathers have a partial responsibilities regarding the daily decisions. – Find out more!
However, in the present as a result of a society that is constantly changing, the traditional structure is subject to some challenges, and in a lot of families mothers are the ones who need to financially support the family, while fathers assume roles that are more and more important in the domestic responsibilities and raising the children. It`s useful to evaluate every assumed role in the family and if each person is satisfied with the present arrangement; for instance, the biggest child assumes the role in taking care of his brothers or the grandmother may assume the essential role of replacing the real parents. On the other hand, a bigger child might be recalcitrant regarding too much responsibility on his shoulders, and the little ones will come to detest the authority imposed by the big brother. In dysfunctional families may appear an inversion of roles, the parents expecting to be taken care of by their children.
The 6 Basic Roles
Children who are raised in families that are disorganized proven to adopt one or more of the following roles:
- Good child (hero): a child who assumes the parental role;
- The rebel or problematic child: the child who is usually blamed for most issues that are related to the poor functioning of the family, despite the demonstrated emotional stability;
- Caregiver: the child who takes the responsibility for the emotional well-being of the family;
- The lost child: usually unnoticeable, silent, whose needs are most of the time ignored or hidden;
- Mascot: uses jokes to distract the attention from the dysfunctional family system;
- Genius: the opportunist who capitalizes the mistakes of other members of the family to get what he wants, often the object for the peace of adults. – More details!
Assigning and performing the roles within a family may prove to be a difficult task, requiring immense efforts from all family members. Here are some tips that you need to consider:
- Establishing some clear roles, easy to identify. Each member of the family needs to recognize and admit his role and responsibility (he knows what is expected from him, otherwise the “agenda” of another member will become busy);
- Allowing flexibility. Flexibility is very important in a healthy family and may change in periods of crisis (a person is sick or dying), healthy families can adjust and adapt (it requires a temporary/permanent change of roles);
- A just assign of roles. They are established so as not to burden anyone, so the issues that may appear when a member is forced to take too many other roles (when single parents are concerned). Children require a certain degree of accountability as well.
- Responsibility in assuming the role. This needs to be taken seriously and done as best as possible. For example, if the parent doesn`t offer enough support to the child, low self-esteem, behavioral problems or depression might result.