11 Things Not To Say To A Mother Of Twins
The fact that all children are adorable is a very common thing. However, twins manage to always get the biggest attention. When you see them, you automatically attempt to identify whether their features are identical or not and analyze them from head to toe.
Being a mother of twins isn`t an easy thing, but the coming of 2 children in this world represents an enormous joy which can easily be overshadowed by the mean comments of parents with only 1 child, who forget that the feelings of parents of twins can easily be wounded.
Here`s what you should avoid when meeting a mother of twins.
Table of Contents
- 1 Are They Natural?
- 2 Are They Identical?
- 3 Are You Going to Have Triplets?
- 4 Which One Is Older?
- 5 Which One Is the “Worst”?
- 6 Which One Is Smarter?
- 7 Do You Have Twins in your Family?
- 8 Have You Don`t a Fertility Treatment?
- 9 Did You Have a Caesarean?
- 10 Have Your Babies Born Prematurely?
- 11 I Don`t Know How You Can Manage
Are They Natural?
This question should be on the top of the list. It exactly the same as “Nice boobs, are they natural?” That`s practically none of your business if you aren`t closed friends with the mother. Not to say that implying that human beings are anything else than “natural” is really obnoxious. If you consider yourself a civilized person, you should probably ask more “civilized” question.
Are They Identical?
The question is a bit funny if we are to take into account that a lot of times the answer is obvious. A simple look could clear things out. If the 2 kids have different eye color, they are surely not identical. If one of them is taller, while the other one is shorter, they are surely not identical. Take a moment to look at the children before asking the parents this question.
Are You Going to Have Triplets?
Meeting a mother with twins will most likely raise questions related to her pregnancy. Try to be cautious and avoid formulations such as: “Are you sure you don`t have triplets?” or “Your belly is huge.” Be careful when meeting people who you didn`t see them for a long time. Don`t ask “Are you pregnant by any chance?” because the chances for her to be pregnant aren`t that high.
Which One Is Older?
Who cares? Most likely one is older 2 minutes than the other one. Is this really such an important question to ask their mother? Maybe if you are good friends with her mother and you have that kind of a relationship, it would be ok. Otherwise, maybe you would want to ask a different thing.
Which One Is the “Worst”?
Each child is respected and loved. Any comparisons between twins are quite inappropriate and as they grow, they should really be avoided. Definitely, their parents don`t compare them, so don`t do it either! – See this!
Which One Is Smarter?
Just as the one above, this is another question that you shouldn`t ask a mother of twins. First of all, they are still very small so there`s little chances for any of the 2 to prove to be smarter just yet. Secondly, their mother loves them both, so for her both of them are equally smart. So, this will be a question you`ll want to avoid.
Do You Have Twins in your Family?
This question may seem innocent and maybe it really is for some people. For others, not so much! And whether you realize it or not, you kind of fishing for the same question related to fertility treatments. So, you should think twice before you hurt the mother`s feelings.
Have You Don`t a Fertility Treatment?
The sexual life of each person is a personal and intimate thing and should stay that way. Try to avoid addressing such delicate topics. After all, there`s no one who really speaks openly about their attempts of remaining pregnant or possible treatments which she may have followed to become a mother.
Did You Have a Caesarean?
Another curiosity that you should contain it is the one related to the details of birth. If the doctor has recommended a Caesarean birth for both the safety of the mother and baby, maybe it`s not really appropriate to ask questions or contradict this decision.
Have Your Babies Born Prematurely?
Lots of times, premature birth is a difficult moment for parents and children. The most will most definitely try to avoid remembering those tough moments. More than that, the important thing is that the twins are now healthy and not really the way they were born.
I Don`t Know How You Can Manage
The negative attitude towards the growth of twins isn`t really founded! Of course, raising 2 children is a very difficult process, but with determination and optimism, nothing is impossible. Don`t discourage a mother by commenting in a bad manner.
Read more on 11 Pregnancy Things That Shouldn`t Be On Facebook!
Last but not least, If you yourself are a mother of twins, don`t let indiscreet questions and bad comments of the ones around you get to you. Children are a blessing and no one should shade the joy of raising them.