When It`s Best to Adopt a Child?
There comes a moment in life when you really want a child. Whether you cannot conceive one or from ethical reasons, adoption can be a real solution. But are you ready for the big step with everything that involves it?
Adoption is maybe one of the most altruistic gestures in the world, but also risky. Besides the huge responsibilities that come with raising and educating a child, there might be dissensions in the family, as one of the members may not accept a child without any blood ties.
Adopting couples say there are 2 kinds of children in the world: those born in the mother`s belly and those who grow up in her heart. It`s also said that if you are given to adopt a child, you`ll make the decision at the right time – when the child who is meant to you is ready to be adopted. If we accept the idea that before they are born, children look from somewhere above and choose the couple who must accompany them in the early years of life, we can imagine that they know what they are doing if we feel that they are ours when we first see them.
All those who adopt a child ask themselves the following question: will I be able to love him just as much as he would be my own? It`s normal to have doubts, but most of the times these doubts disappear as soon as the new parents get their new baby and most likely as time passes, the whole idea being completely aberrant. In fact, adoption it`s nothing more than another way to have a baby.
When a woman is pregnant, it won`t pass more than 9 months from conception until birth, but these are 9 months of worries and concerns: Will he be a healthy child? Will she be able to carry the pregnancy all the way through? On the other hand, in adoption all these worries somewhat disappear being replaced with concerns related to all the documents and small issue that occur along the way.
Table of Contents
- 1 Don`t Adopt a Child to Fight Loneliness!
- 2 15 Questions to Consider Before Deciding for an Adoption
- 3 4 Reasons to Adopt a Child
- 4 How Much Does It Cost to Adopt a Child?
- 5 Why Children Get Placed for Adoption?
- 6 Who`s Eligible for an Adoption?
- 7 What to Do when Adopting a Child?
- 8 Adoption – A Decision for a Lifetime
Don`t Adopt a Child to Fight Loneliness!
Adoption isn`t for those who haven`t found peace in life, it isn`t for those who aren`t sure whether or not they want a child, it isn`t for those who do it for the sake of their partner. All those involved in the adoption must be 100% sure they want to adopt a child.
The decision of adopting a baby is a real adventure. For those who don`t know anything about adoption, it can be an overwhelming experience. There are many questions you`ll have to answer, you`ll go through great emotions and you have much to do before you can become a child`s parents.
15 Questions to Consider Before Deciding for an Adoption
- Are you financially, emotionally and physically prepared for this responsibility?
- Do you have the emotional ability to take care of a child who is likely to go through small emotional crisis?
- Are you ready for the long race? You`ll need to take care of this child for at least 18 years.
- Are you prepared to help your child overcome his family`s abandonment? This is a valid question in case you propose to adopt a child, because sooner or later, the discussion about his biological parents will take place.
- If you have other children, are they willing to accept another brother or sister?
- If you adopt from reasons of infertility, have you managed to cope with the idea that you cannot get pregnant? Have you given a “mourning” period?
- Do you understand the choices you have to adopt a child?
- Have you taken into consideration to adopt a child of a few years instead of a very small baby?
- What do you think about open adoptions (the ones in which the biological mother can visit her child)?
- Are you willing to adopt a foreign child?
- Would you adopt a child of a different ethnicity than yours?
- Does the age of the adoptive parents matter? (Ask for your doctor`s advice before adopting!)
- What are your logistics limits?
- Is your home big enough? Would the child have a room only for him?
- Do you have the financial resources to buy all the necessary things for a child?
4 Reasons to Adopt a Child
Medical problems and an inability of conceiving a child are the main reasons for which a couple chooses adoption.
The inability of having children affects millions of people all over the world. Most recent statistics show that 7.3 of millions of worldwide women try various treatments to get rid of infertility. However, lots of them aren`t that lucky. So, adoption is one of the first solutions to consider.
For some women, a pregnancy may not be recommended no matter how much they would want to become mothers, and adoption may be the only way. It`s about those cases in which the woman suffers from severe forms of diabetes or chronic diseases, which can put the life of the mother or fetus in jeopardy in case of a pregnancy.
Some couples decide that is best to adopt a child than to conceive a child when there`s an increased risk of genetic diseases, such as Down syndrome. The risk of having a child with malformations increases along with the mother`s age. So, if you decided rather late of becoming a mother and the analyzes show that you might have a child with abnormalities, adoption is the only sure option.
You may not have been able to find your “match,” but your maternal emotions are quite strong and you really want a child. If you want to get through the experience of artificial insemination, and a surrogate-mother or a sperm donor aren`t to your liking, then adoption may be the only way.
How Much Does It Cost to Adopt a Child?
The cost of adoption varies depending on its type and formalities that need to be fulfilled (from the payment required for the agency which will deal with finding you a child to lawyers or the legalization of documents).
You shouldn`t be discouraged about the huge amount of details that are involved in an adoption. If anything, this should make you more responsible. You need to understand that the decision of adoption a child shouldn`t be rushed. It`s not the same thing to take care of a child as taking care a pet. The best possible advice for this matter is to trust your reason and act with your heart.
Why Children Get Placed for Adoption?
- The mother is a minor or very young, and she doesn`t have the support of her family.
- The mother isn`t able to raise her child due to financial reasons.
- The mother didn`t finished her studies and having a child would complicate her plans or even abandon studies.
- The mother has no support from the child`s father and she isn`t able to raise the child alone. – More info!
- Religion doesn`t allow to have a child before marriage or raise him without a partner.
- You already have other children and the mother isn`t able to afford to raise another child.
- The child is born with genetic abnormalities and the mother doesn`t want to raise a child with disabilities.
- The mother has drug or alcohol problems and she isn`t capable to raise a child.
- The mother doesn`t have a job or source of income.
- The pregnancy was the result of a sexual abuse.
Who`s Eligible for an Adoption?
The law requires for those wishing to adopt a baby to be at least 18 years old and also be capable to prove that they are able to properly take care of the child that they`ll receive in the adoption. Still, in present days the number of abandoned children that are given up by their parents has decreased considerably, a reason for which the conditions for adoption have slightly tightened, the requirements becoming somewhat more drastic. Therefore, in a lot of cases there are preferred married couples that can demonstrate that they aren`t able to have their own babies naturally. Also, couples who haven`t received the age of 35 – 40 years old have more chances to adopt a child, and in some cases the adoption won`t be approved for people who already passed through at least one divorce. Last but not least, there`s also the condition for married couples to have at least 3 years of marriage.
What to Do when Adopting a Child?
A couple who wants to adopt a child must first of all get in touch with child protection authorities, which are the ones that deal with such cases. In general, the official who will be appointed to deal with the respective adoption will try as much as possible to see that they baby won`t reach a family with problems. Actually, the official will spend quite a lot of time doing social research to ensure that the future adoptive parents are truly fit and have no history of legal or social problems. Finally, it will come to court to finalize all the official documents. However, the judge won`t signs the final papers until the child won`t live for a while with his new parents to see if there won`t be any kind of problems.
In some cases, it will be required the consent of the natural parents. If the two are married, it will need both of them to agree, and if not, only the consent of the mother.
In case the natural parents will have to give their consent and they`ll refuse a certain couple, then the chances for that particular couple to be able to adopt the child will disappear almost completely.
It may happen for the adoptive parents to have some doubts regarding their decision of adopting a child. In such situations, it`s recommended a honest dialogue with the official who takes care of the adoption. He has access to all the information you need to make a decision as well as the necessary experience in the field that allows him to better assess the whole situation.
Adoption – A Decision for a Lifetime
It`s a huge difference between a child that a woman will give birth and an adopted child. Even though the entire process of getting through a pregnancy and give birth is an exhausting one, all women feel the need sooner or later to go through it. What they feel and live during this process cannot be put into words and cannot be replaced with anything. Being a mother is almost a miracle and a gift that any woman should enjoy. Unfortunately, not all women are blessed with this gift, but there`s still hope for them – adoption. If both parents feel that they have a lot of love to offer and they desire to have a child more than anything, adoption is the right thing to decide. No matter the environment they come from, if they are really young or not, children have to be loved no matter what.