When we have a bad day, we often tend to be somehow bitchy in our reactions. Other times, we just need some funny stuff to pull out of the hat. No matter your case, these funny jokes outlined below will most definitely help you turn a bit more bitchier.
Table of Contents
Best Bitchy Quotes
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“No matter what you do, don`t ever give up. Because then all you could do once you have given up is bitch. I have known some really great bitchers in my life, and let me tell you – with some it is a passion, but with other ones is an art.”
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“I wish my husband would love me as much as he enjoys beer.”
Also read: Encouraging Text Messages For Him & Her!
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“Forget the Bible! Probably the greatest argument against the evolution of humanity is represented by a Youtube comment.”
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“A person who is a bitch would seem to be kind of mean without a real reason, I am not mean! Maybe sometime I am rude without being aware of this – this might be possible.”
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“I am not really the girl your mother may have warned you about. I don`t think she has such a good imagination.”
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“Do not talk about your own person so much. We will do that for you when you live.”
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“I just taken a look at my ex-boyfriend and thought: How could I like something like that?”
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“It seems like you had an additional bowl of stupid when the day started.” – Read this!
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“I would like see things the way you see them, but I don`t think I`m able to stick my head that far up my ass.”
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“What if you are in hell and you are mad at another person, where would you tell them to go?”
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“Yes dear, but you`re rather ugly, and tomorrow will be sober.”
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“Ladies, if you were to wear a full makeup face early in the morning to the gym, I am going to guess you just ended your shift as a prostitute.”
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“Maybe it`s best to put a condom on, if you are going to act like a dick.”
Read more: Cute Ways To Say Happy Birthday To Your Crush!
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“I am tempted to say something a bit bitchy, but I am not sure if your pea-sized brain will get it.”
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“Mirrors do not talk, and you are lucky they do not laugh either.”
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“Oh, how I wished I could have a lower IQ, so that I could come up with something bitchy to say that you would understand.”
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“Maybe it would be best to do some soul-searching. You would probably be able to find yourself a soul.”
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“I will not turn ugly if you will hate me, and you will not get any prettier either.”
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“You do not need to let me know if you do not like me. I do not really give a damn anyway.”
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“I love everyone. Some I simply love to have around, some I love to stay away from, and others I would love to give a punch right in the nose.”
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“Maybe it`s best to know that I don`t care, before telling me what I did wrong.”
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“I do not really care what you think of me. Probably it`s not half as bad as my opinion of me.
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“I`m currently experiencing life around the speed of 20 wtf`s an hour.”
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“Don`t you think that if it was meant for me to be controlled, I would also come with a remote?”
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“There`s nothing worse than a bitchy woman. Oh, yeah! Maybe a bitchy man!”
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“Some of the possessions I love the most are the insults that I still have in my head.” – Click here!
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“Simply because I seem to believe bullshit you get out of your mouth, it does not mean I am that stupid. I am simply laughing on the inside and waiting to hear your next bullshit.”
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“Just because I am in a good mood, it does not mean you do not irritate me.”
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“Don`t underestimate the power of someone being able to be really stupid.”
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“I hope karpa really slaps you in your face before I will.”
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“I was not born a bitch. Guys like you made me this way.”
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“It`s not that I don`t give a shit. It`s just that I don`t really care.”
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“You have the right to remain silent, so maybe you should shut the hell up.”
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“First God made man, then he came with a better idea.”
More to read: Text Messages To Say “I Love You”!
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“I am not saying she is a whore, but she seem to have a “take-a-number” system.”
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“For anyone who wants to talk to me, thank you for making me the most important thing in your world.”
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“I may have lots of talents, but I can`t listen to you and piss you off at the same time. You`ll have to do that for yourself.”
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“I may see your point of view, but I still consider you to be full of shit.”
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“I noticed you have set aside this special moment to embarrass yourself in front of everyone.”
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“I am already seeing myself how I`m placing duct tape over your mouth.”
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“Just give me enough time and I am sure I will get over you.”
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“I do not really miss him, I only miss who I believed he was.”
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“You are not really my favorite mistake, you`re actually a simple regret. I really believed I knew who you were, but watch how well I can forget,”
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“Do not bother to tell me who my ex-boyfriend is dating now, because then I feel pity for that poor soul.”
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“I hope dumb-asses like you are an endangered species.” – More info!
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“Some guys be like: I want a girl with big breasts, long hair, large ass and sexy as hell. Where the hell do you think you are? Build-a-bitch workshop?
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“Sometimes it isn`t so great being intelligent and beautiful. Not everyone is up to this challenge.”
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“You do not really deserve my tears. I guess that is why they are not there.”
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“Relationships are meant only for two, but not all bitches know how to count.” – Visit this link!
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“You should learn how to appreciate my personality. It ain`t really so easy to make up for your total lack of one.”
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aspirin and ed