A happy family – We all want it, but did we ever taken a moment to describe it in detail? We set it as one of the most important life objectives, without really understanding the entire concept. Lots of times, we want this without putting too much effort into it. There`re a lot of great expectations and almost zero involvement.
Let`s be honest! The concept of happy family is rather different from one person to another. And of course, it`s something completely normal. So today, if I would tell you what it means to have a happy family, at the very same time, you`ll immediately feel challenged to meditate on a few related questions: What does a happy family means for you? How do we have a happy family?
Happiness within a family doesn`t come right away. You need lots of wisdom to keep the ones you love together as well as a bit of patience in order to solve possible conflicts.
Each happy family, in which members feel fulfilled, need to have a very solid foundation built from the start. – More info!
The confidence in your life partner, the way you communicate with your family members as well as the way you spend your free time, all these are part of a successful recipe.
Table of Contents
- 1 A Solid Foundation
- 2 Rules for the Entire Family
- 3 Make Time to Talk & Listen
- 4 Offer Affection, Encouragement & Appreciation
- 5 Don`t Abuse the Fact that You Are an Adult!
- 6 Common Projects
- 7 Cultivate Loyalty!
- 8 Be Part of a Larger Community
- 9 Cultivate Values that Keep Children Away from Misconduct
- 10 Empowering Our Children
- 11 Hold On!
A Solid Foundation
For things to go smoothly in a family, it`s required for it to have a solid foundation. Experts say that a family built on a weak foundation rarely endures the test of time. This solid support of a couple consists of love, admiration, respect, sexual compatibility and common goals.
Rules for the Entire Family
If you were to have a list with principles that hold a family united, love needs to be doubled by the rules and responsibilities of each member of the family. They apply to everyone: parents, children as well as grandparents.
Parents are the ones setting up the rules for the whole family and make certain the rules are respected. For instance, the entire family can take part in the preparation of the dinner table. The little ones are taught to do the light chores, fit with their age and strength.
Make Time to Talk & Listen
Frequently, parents forget that it isn`t easy to talk to a child, especially because the little one doesn`t have an adult`s logic. Try to keep in mind how communication went for you at this age. The people who liked you were perhaps the ones who listened to you best.
Listening isn`t only about hearing the words coming out from the mouth of the person speaking to you, but also about understanding what the child actually feels, without criticizing him. Be certain you understand what the young one says, the same way as you would do with an adult: repeat what the child said in your own words, approve him and reinforce what the child says.
Messages such as “don`t talk when we are at the table,” threats or accusations might make the little one feel even more helpless or even depressed.
Offer Affection, Encouragement & Appreciation
Offer affection, embrace him gently and carefully. The teenagers who`re praised, embraced or kissed are more prone to have better results at school in the near future than children who don`t have such affective experiences.
Take some time to have a discussion to every family member about what he has done and express your own interest in their lives.
Most people find it more easily to criticize than praise, so you should do an effort and think about the positives and tell the little one you have notice them.
Don`t Abuse the Fact that You Are an Adult!
The younger is your child, the more power you have over him as an adult.
Use that power with wisdom. Maintain control through encouragement and humor, not through threats and punishment. In dysfunctional families, there`s an endless struggle for control that is quite dangerous for the future health of a child.
When the child has something to say about a specific situation, and the family consider to be important to listen to each other, there`s a special relationship created between parents and children, which is based on intimacy and trust.
Families that work together on household affairs or various projects build stronger relationships. If each parent and child have specific tasks to get done, they`ll feel more deeply their allegiance to the group as well as their responsibilities to other people. Additionally, children will shape a family pattern from what they see around, which in turn will build and perpetuate.
Show that you are loyal to your family. Support each other and defend any member of the family with every chance you get.
Work with each other to form a united front and solve problems by finding solutions together.
Be Part of a Larger Community
Most research shows that religious are much happier in general. No matter how curious this would seem, further studies have proven it`s because of the friends provided by religious communities.
The most comprehensive research performed on this subject was in 2010 and it offers a few clues about why this may be. After examining a lot of studies of over 3.000 adults, experts have found that it makes no difference whether or not you feel closer to God or what religion you follow. What truly matter is how many friends you have in your community.
The magic number is considered to be 10 – if you have as much as 10 friends, you can consider yourself a happy person. In other words, religious people are happier due to the fact that they feel connected to a community of people who think alike.
Cultivate Values that Keep Children Away from Misconduct
Latest studies have shown that children who know that parents don`t agree with some choices and behaviors are less prone to destructive behaviors. Moreover, experts add that the same desires, future plans and benchmarks are behaviors that harness the family.
Empowering Our Children
Dictatorship is no more! Children perform better when they have a say when making their plans.
You can even allow them to have something to say when choosing their punishments. You`ll increase their motivation to follow the rules.
Experts at the University of California discovered that children who plan the time on their own, evaluate their own tasks and set goals on a weekly basis develop their prefrontal cortex as well as other brain parts which aid them exercise greater control over their own lives. These “executive skills” help kids with avoiding distractions, weighing the advantages and disadvantages of their own choices, and exert self-discipline.
Strong families are able to resist crises or failures, managing to maintain a positive attitude, common beliefs and values which help them cope with any of the challenges that life throws at them.