If you are here, you`re perhaps wondering how to tell your husband that you want a baby. Well, although this isn`t always a simple issue, there`s no reason to really worry either.
He`s the ideal man! Despite the fact that he`s good looking, he also has a good sense of humor. However, there may be one problem: your long-term plans include decorating a room for your future child, and he doesn`t even want to take this into consideration.
No matter if he`s your boyfriend for 2 years, your husband for 10 years or you are just starting to consider a family, your partner probably sees in this a nightmare that could turn his life upside-down. Before giving up on your dream, take a few tips into consideration that could help you better understand how to deal with the whole issue. – More info!
When you decided that you want a child, the discussion with your partner may prove to be difficult, especially if you didn`t talk too much about the idea of having a family in the future. However, there are some recommendations that you could take into account which could help you talk to him without scare him too much about the whole idea.
Discussions about having a baby are a delicate subject in a lot of couples. If you get into the situation when you want a child and you don`t know what he`s thinking, it`s important to approach the subject with a lot of tact.
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How to Tell Your Husband You Want a Baby?
Before telling him exactly what`s bothering you, you could give him small clues to prepare him for the discussion that you think he`s afraid to have. You could start to smile when you see babies or small children, or you could behave in an obvious and positive manner every time you see small clothes for little ones.
Pick the right moment for a discussion when you are both relaxed and in an intimate atmosphere, when interruptions are minimal. However, don`t ever approach the subject right after having sex, when he may think you tried to “push him into a corner” or he`s about to fall asleep.
Make him understand that you cannot imagine starting a family with another man and that having a child now will mean a pas forward for your relationship.
- Before planning to have a baby, it`s best if you ensure that you are comfortable in the relationship, both you and your partner. If the couple doesn`t function very well, don`t really take into consideration myths that claim things will get better once you`ll have the baby. Having a child is a wonderful moment in the life of every couple, but the scene may change when the family gets bigger. The baby must be “accepted,” integrated in the family and helped to develop, live, etc. – Read this!
- Express your desire to your partner, emphasizing that the baby`s arrival isn`t only a desire of yours, but a stage of evolution of the couple.
- Don`t put pressure over him; instead try to listen what he as to say, his reason for which he doesn`t want a baby. If he says he doesn`t want a baby with you, the whole idea of your relationship gets a question mark.
- Talk to your partner about the childhood, about pleasant memories and the joy of having a child around.
- Go with your partner in places where there are a lot of little ones or to friends with children.
- Think about the fact that the most wonderful thing is to have a baby that you both want.
What Are the Most Important Aspects of the Issue?
The financial situation in the couple and the emotional stability are important aspects to be brought into the discussion when you want to confess your desire to have a baby.
Even if you don`t want to scare him, it`s important not to portray his role as a minor one. During the first few months after birth, you`ll have more responsibilities, but soon after that the father`s responsibilities will increase as well, even maybe occupying a lot of his free time. – Click this link!
After presenting your arguments, which ideally should be solid, you should also listen to him, no matter how much will like or dislike the idea. If there`s no compromise on the matter right there and then, you could suggest a period of thinking for both of you during which each of you`ll be able to analyze the impact of a child in your lives.
He May Not Want Children Because…
Here are a few common reasons for which men don`t want children:
- He isn`t ready to have a child, either emotionally or financially. – Also check this out?
- He still wants to have fun until starting a family.
- He doesn`t feel mature and responsible enough to be a father.
- He isn`t sure about the current partner being the future mother of his children.
- He considers the appearance of a child to be premature for the relationship.
- He`s afraid, especially if is the first child: “Will I be able to take care of him?’, “Will I be able to offer him everything he wants?” or “Will I be able to educate him properly?”
- He`s jealous on the partner`s attention; he thinks he`ll be put aside because the baby will get more attention. A lot of times this is really the case, especially during the first months of the baby`s life.
How Much Time of Thinking You Give Him?
Still, if your partner gets scared and offers you a definitive “no,” It`s not a good idea to press him and even start a fight after the first discussion. It`s important to let him some time to think about it, especially if it`s the first time he find out you want to have a baby. This period of time should vary depending on your impatience, but also other factors, like the financial situation of the couple.
Generally, it`s not a good idea to approach the issue directly with the “I want a child” expression, if you didn`t talk in advance about any plans on the long term. Keep in mind that repeated pressures on the partner, without tact, might create tensions in the relationship, which may even lead to separation. Don`t approach the subject after consuming alcohol, because the discussion can quickly turn to an unwanted direction.
You Want a Baby, He Doesn`t! But You Still Love Him!
Each of us has values after which we guide ourselves in life. If one of your important values is having a child, you`ll probably still be staying in the relationship for a while because you love him. However, on the long run, your subconscious may lead you to a partner who you feel he shares the same values, including having a child. If your “value” is the couple, the relationship, then you`ll treat the issue with patience, understanding, focusing on fact that you have your loved one close to you. – Check this page!
It`s recommended not to draw false conclusions: “He doesn`t want a child because he doesn`t love me” or “He`s selfish!” It`s best if you could live aside the whole “I must have a child” idea and focus on analyzing his reasons better. Maybe this way you could understand him and find solutions together in the near future. It generally depends on each person, on want everyone wants in life, which is the value after which you guide yourself.
If You`ll Give Up on Your Dream…
- You accept the situation and are thankful for living with your beloved one as long as you can.
- You stay by him, but you feel unfulfilled. When you fight or in moments of tension, there might be reproaches between the two of you.
Take sufficient time before giving up on the relationship in case your partner really doesn`t ever want children.